Friends and Beyond

Are you Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

Online dating, as popular as it has turned out to be is not always the right place to search for the right special someone.  I will not say that there have not been some outstanding relationships that have developed as a result of online dating sites, but as a whole it is difficult to get any chemistry other than a woman or man is good looking and looks good on paper. So what does all this mean?

Good looking does not always mean the the individual has a personality that will suit yours.  And sometimes the individual may not be extra ordinarily great looking but the personality is outstanding, emotionally supportive and loving.  Yet you would have passed up an opportunity to meet this person because of their looks.  Only time can level the playing field when it comes to getting to know another person on a more personable level. 

Looking good on paper is another major mistake made by both men and women when it comes to dating and creating a lifetime relationship.  Yes it is important to know what your date or mate does for a living and what the financial issues may be.  But communication can bridge the gap in that foundational conversation and with it comes appreciation, integrity, loyalty, trust and a variety of other extremely important values.  The term married well does not always mean that someone found a loving, caring individual but sometimes is means the spouse has money, or a prestigeous job. Women who resort to this type of relationship disempower themselves and never find their own worth.  Money will never fill your heart only your pockets.  Do not judge a person on the size of a paycheck.  It your special person is warm, encouraging supportive and happens to be blessed financially...that is great! 

Relationships that endure lifetime ups and downs are those that are based on the principles of  love, communication and everything that comes with it will last a lifetime.  Isn't that the kind of relationship that you want?

 

Embrace The Changes You See In Your Family And Friends

The world is ever changing and so are people of all races, colors, ethnic societies and ages.  Sometimes the changes we see and experience happen in our own circle of family and friends.  And unfortunately those can sometimes be the hardest to accept. 

I have experienced this in two ways myself.  The first was directly after my car accident in 2007 when I decided to leave my career of twenty nine years as an optician and being being an entrepreneur, coach and logistics coordinator of sorts for a personal development training company that was instrumental in the changes in my life. My passion was to help others create lives that would make them happy, healthy and financially free.   My friends and family not only did not understand but they did not really support me because of that lack of understanding.  To often people get so stuck with the familiar in in your life and theirs that they can not embrace the fact that with change comes growth. 

Another instances that was close to home was when a good friend of mine decided to not only marry someone that I was unsure of, but gave up all that she knew to move to a diffeent state and start over.  An interesting revelation hit me just recently and one I have known for some time...when people stop being who they pretend to be and start being who they really are, it creates havoc in their circle of family and friends who think they should stay the same.  But the reality is, that when people do make changes in their lives, it is not always to our liking.  However when others express the same opinions about our lives, we tend to feel it is uncalled for and inappropriate.  Wow..

The key to building and supporting healthy friend and family relationships is to embrace the changes that others make in their lives even when we do not agree.  After all, it is their life to live..is it not?  Allow this person to grow as we individually do not know what God has in store for each of us in His master plan.  It is our own personal intentions and requests that set the Universe in motion to create our own dreams and not those dreams of another.   You must trust the Universe. So the phase "Let it go"  is of more importance than we realize especially when faced with a life changing decision that one of our own friends or family members makes.  Get to know them again, embrace the change and watch the magic come to life. 

There Is A Difference Between A Business Partner And A Friend, Sometimes The Twains Don't Meet

Most business partners that enter into a business agreement are not necessarily friends.  However there are some that will intermingle the idea that personal considerations are expected such as discounts, saved seats and other such favors which if not kept in check can become the statis quo.  Unfortunately this is in many situations, not the case. and offense is taken on a business level when one partner either is not able to do so or considers the request against his or her integrity. 

If you are faced with this situation from time to time or even just once, it is time to re-evaluate your partnership and what it stands for. And is this the type of person that you can trust your success and wealth to when the chips are down or will they backout and walk away when they do not get their way.  The partner that will challenge you on having their "back" is usually the one who does not have yours.  They will try to renig on financial obligations. They can not seem to seperate business from personal and their jugement becomes hampered.

Recently I ran into this situation and had to make a decision based on the integrity and character of the person that I was entering into a business agreement with. While she was attending a course that I was staffing she requested that I save a seat for her to allow her to come closer to start time.  Although I knew it is not necessarily appropriate, I filled the request and left it at that.  However on the second day, the same person asked if I had done such favor again in which I indicted that I had not.  On day three, I left a text message to let her know that I was unable to fill the request and suggested that she come a little earlier. That suggestion was given because I had noticed patterns in the short time I had worked with her to be late, have little regard for others as well as not paying her bills and strategically getting others to pay first for her to reimburse later which alot of times does not happen.  Keep in mind that there was no friendship established at this point either. Friendships are build on strong foundations to include trust and integrity.

That is when the crap hit the fan.  Accusations of not having her back and a partner finds a way to cover even if it is against the company standard that you are representing and your integity. With the intentional insult on her part, I immediately removed the website from the internet that I built and submitted an invoice for the completed work. The website would then be uploaded upon payment. Because I believe that what you do anytime is what you do everytime I was concerned if I continued to attempt working on this project... what else would cause such inappropriate and uncalled for accusations. 

Before entering into any business partnership or agreement with anyone, pay attention to their habits and patterns. Over time the best foot forward and hype will begin to diminish and the real person begins to emerge.  This is when you determine the integrity of the person and validity of the proposal they want to enter into with you.  Also, should you begin doing work with this potential partner make sure you have paid invoices before releasing any completed work.  This insures that you are covering your own back first before commiting to future dealings in anyone proposing a partnership.  In other words, make sure your ducks are in a row or they may wander off in an unexpect and unwanted direction.