Friends and Beyond

Three Questions That You Can Ask to Improve Your Relationships

For the most part, the questions that a couple tend to ask during the course of the building of their relationship are pretty shallow. When you look at the reason and substance behind some questions, you will notice that they come many times from desperation and not to become more informed of who the person you are dating is, what they stand for and expect from the current relationship. Remember that the type of questions you ask will by the type of answers you get back in return. Here are some great recommendations for learning about the person you care about and even yourself.

"What are my partners' most important emotional needs?"

Consider the needs of the person you are spending time with. Determine whether you are filling those needs and if not ask the question and find out whether you are or not.

"What did we do during the times when were we the closest, that we could do again now?"

Many times as a couple get comfortable in their relationship they discontinue doing the things that brought them together and made them happy in the first place. A little recollection goes a long way. Find out from your partner what it was that the infant relationship possessed that is missing. Ask the question! And start doing those thing again.

"On a scale of one to ten, with one being the lowest and ten being the highest, how am I doing as a partner?"

This is a big one but all too important is the answer in every relationship. How does your partner fell about you and they way you make them feel? There could be some underlying things that can be changed if you knew and understood how they affect your partner and are willing to make those changes.

Every relationship takes maintenance. They do not progress on auto pilot. It's been said that one definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.

Embrace The Changes You See In Your Family And Friends

The world is ever changing and so are people of all races, colors, ethnic societies and ages.  Sometimes the changes we see and experience happen in our own circle of family and friends.  And unfortunately those can sometimes be the hardest to accept. 

I have experienced this in two ways myself.  The first was directly after my car accident in 2007 when I decided to leave my career of twenty nine years as an optician and being being an entrepreneur, coach and logistics coordinator of sorts for a personal development training company that was instrumental in the changes in my life. My passion was to help others create lives that would make them happy, healthy and financially free.   My friends and family not only did not understand but they did not really support me because of that lack of understanding.  To often people get so stuck with the familiar in in your life and theirs that they can not embrace the fact that with change comes growth. 

Another instances that was close to home was when a good friend of mine decided to not only marry someone that I was unsure of, but gave up all that she knew to move to a diffeent state and start over.  An interesting revelation hit me just recently and one I have known for some time...when people stop being who they pretend to be and start being who they really are, it creates havoc in their circle of family and friends who think they should stay the same.  But the reality is, that when people do make changes in their lives, it is not always to our liking.  However when others express the same opinions about our lives, we tend to feel it is uncalled for and inappropriate.  Wow..

The key to building and supporting healthy friend and family relationships is to embrace the changes that others make in their lives even when we do not agree.  After all, it is their life to live..is it not?  Allow this person to grow as we individually do not know what God has in store for each of us in His master plan.  It is our own personal intentions and requests that set the Universe in motion to create our own dreams and not those dreams of another.   You must trust the Universe. So the phase "Let it go"  is of more importance than we realize especially when faced with a life changing decision that one of our own friends or family members makes.  Get to know them again, embrace the change and watch the magic come to life. 

3 Common Emotional Needs That Create Misunderstanding In Any Relationship

As long as relationships between men and women have been in existence, there is still one well known fact. Most problems in relationships stem from a lack of understanding between the needs of a woman and the needs of a man. And they are not the same but they do compliment each other. There are six combinations of emotional needs that come to play in every relationship.

 

This first and not in this is order is that women need respect but men need appreciation.  For the man, physical expressions of respect for a woman include things like remembering birthdays and anniversaries to flowers and will show her that he has taken into consideration her thoughts and feelings.  When this happens she is more capable of acknowledging the man's behavior and let him know his efforts were not wasted,   he then feels appreciated and that will empower him and give him the motivation to respect her even more.

 

Another place where men and women fall short is that a woman primary need is to be cared for while and man's primary need is to be trusted.  When a man shows interest in a woman's feeling and concerns, she feels cared about.  In turn she returns this fulfillment by trusting her man more and more.  As her trust grows, she is more open which allows for her man to become even more attentive and caring to her.

 

One aspect of emotion that is generally misunderstood and in so many relationships is that women need to be understood but on the same token men need to be accepted.  So often a woman will get involved with a man and hope that she can change or improve him.  It is imperative for a relationship that a woman receives a man with favor and believes he can and will make his own decisions concerning improvements.  When a man feels this kind of acceptance, it is easier for him to listen without judgment and give understanding in the manner that allow her and her feelings to feel heard.

 

There are three other areas in a relationship between men and women that must be considered.  but starting with these three will dramatically help to avoid a troubled or rocky start or improve an already established relationship.  Although these emotions are very different, they go hand in hand to build successful, loving and lasting foundations for any relationship. 

Conversation For Any Relationship Often Builds Better Foundations.

Conversation is one of the major ways that people can express feelings, ideas, opinions, dreams and so on to others.  It is also a primary way of starting new friendships and relationships.  There are techniques that you can learn to help you in the area of starting a conversation, especially if it is for you.  Most people really do want to share but are unsure how to get started.

 

Be the first to say “Hello” As difficult as this sounds, it is a sure way of overcoming your fear of not being addressed.  It is an open door for others to walk through a talk with you.

 

Introduce yourself to other people.  One way to keep the conversation going after “Hello” is to introduce yourself and smile.  This is an obvious welcome for conversation and most people that you introduce yourself to will do the same.

 

Make a conscious effort to remember the names of the people you meet.  This is a challenge for some and easy for others.  But very important for future encounters.

 

Don’t be afraid to ask a person their name if you have forgotten it.  They will appreciate that you care enough to make sure you have it and have it right.

 

Be curious and show an interest in the people around you whom you are speaking with.  People like to talk about themselves.

 

Be open to new ideas when they are presented.  A big conversation turner is when a person is closed to hearing ideas and concepts that another person holds.  Not being open to hear also portrays lack of interest.

 

Don’t be afraid to tell others about important things that happened in your life.  An openness to share a little about yourself allows the people around you to learn more about conversational topics you like.

 

Be a good listener.  When another person is talking, make sure that you are not butting in.  When he or she is done with their thought, is when you can safely make a comment or ask a question. 

 

These are only just a few tips that you can use to improve your conversations with others.  If you put these into practice, you will find that more and more you will be talking with others and learning new things.  You will find yourself happier and have more friends and acquaintances.  These tips can help you in your relationship as well.

 

New Habits For A New Year

With the new year 2008 just around the corner, now is a time to reflect and decide to make changes for personal growth.  One area in many people's lives that need changing is the people they associate with.  The people you hang around with stongly influence the things you do or do not do.  There are some people that are negative in nature, in communication and in attitude.  We still call them friends when in fact they are not.  They bring you down and hinder your progress in becoming all that you can be.  Their point of view is always on the down side.  2008 is a year to re-evaluate the friends and relationships you currently have and set new positive attitudes and outlooks in life. People who always complain and find things wrong will bring you down and make the world look dim.  People who are always looking for the good and encourage you will help you see a world full of opportunity and adventure.  Your attitudes and beliefs are a product of your environment.  So why not take a step for and realize that the sky and beyond is the limit and negative associations are your anchor that hold you back from soaring to new heights.  Have an Outstanding Christmas and a Spectacular New Year!

Do You Have Trouble Getting a Conversation Started?

don't you find it interesting that some people are great at getting a conversation started and some struggle terribly.  There really are key ways to get or keep a conversation going with friends and or strangers.  But most of the time we tend to sit back and let someone else do all the talking or we let dead space staop a conversation in it's tracks.  It is just a matter of learned some ways that work for you and practice, practice.  After a while you skills will increase you socialization and probably your business communication as well.  So go ahead.....what do you have to lose.  But there is so much to gain.

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

How many times have you gone through a day and gotten all frustrated with people who did not see your point of view?  It is amazing how our patience gets tested which effects the outcome of our day.  We over react and blow things out of proportion.  In all this turmoil we lose sight of the bigger picture. Things that could be a positive turn into a negative.  Pretty soon everything is a big deal.   A change of attitude can make a big difference when we realize that what is important to you may not be as important to someone else.  When you put this into perspective, it's amazing how quickly things become more managable and the stress level decreases.  Understanding that not everyone, everytime will see eye to eye, just stop jumping to conclusions and avoid taking things too personally.  Including other people's problems. Life is too short to Sweat the Small Stuff.