Friends and Beyond

Online Dating Has Given "Blind Date" A New Meaning

It has come to my attention just recently about what may be appropriate for a blind date when it comes to activity and setting.  In this day and age, people tend to rush into and out of relationships like a revolving door.  There is no time alotted to get to know one another.  Immediately there is a sense of false commitment and then surprise when that commitment does not stick.  So the question is...What is an appropriate activity and setting when you have been recommended to someone that you have not met?  Is is a date or not?  Where should you go and what should you do?

The answer to this question is one so many do not like because it is putting on the brakes before you get started.  But to properly meet someone, it should be done in a public, casual and even fun atmosphere.  A public gathering or networking function is a great place to meet someone of the opposite sex for the first time.  Cocktails in a larger setting or even coffee is a safe and appropriate atmosphere for both men and women to meet for the first time when a friend or family member has made a recommendation and is not available to be there to make the introduction.

Meeting a stranger for a movie or dinner is not an ideal setting for that first time meet.  The atmosphere is too intimate and intimidating especially if the people meeting do not take a liking to each other in the beginning.  Also, with a meal, there is an unspoken sense of obligation for the gentleman to pay for the meal even if he does not like the woman.   

By choosing a casual meeting place and activity, there is a sense of freedom for both people to either continue seeing each other by mutually planning a proper date or going their separate ways.  This also gives room to meet a few more times casually before proceeding forward to a dating environment.  With online dating at an all time high, it is important to use caution when meeting strangers for the first time.  And even a few times after the initial get together.  There should always be a Plan B until you get to know someone better and feel comfortable with and even safe around them.  Why rush when you have the rest of your life to enjoy the right person. 

Old Schools Friends Can Still Be Good Friends

Even after many years people who have not spoken for years run back into each other and find there is so much to talk about.  But sometimes because of the time, distance and chains of circumstances there is a hesitation to share. This comes from a fear of what the other might think if the circumstances were not favorable.  The good news is that no matter how far the two have been apart or the geographic distance between them, some things like a real frendship never change.  So sharing each other's memories with just a little getting recquainted, flows easily.  Before you know it they are laughing at the funny things, supporting the things that are sad or hurtful and enjoying a experience many avoid for fear of what the other might think.  High school reunions are often an instigator of such a instance in people's lives.  when this des happen, embrace the opportunity to get reacquainted and build on the foundation of the friendship for future communication.  With patience, a solid loyalty and sense of security is established and you will be amaed at how quickly years and distance are shortened and a harbor of friendship is recreated for eveyone involved.  So if you fall into tis situation don't be afraid to trust the friendship that once was as being a friendshiop that still is.

Is It Your Story Or Their Story

Have you noticed that at times you may get upset for a friend or family member only to find out that the occurrence or situation really was not a problem to them as much as it was to you.  Many times we get caught up in a communication gap and are bent out of shape for someone else when really it is something we need to deal with ourselves.  We think we are displaying loylty when in actuality it is our own story we are not will to acknowledge.  We are really the ones who have the issue and project the unwillingness to face it onto someone else.  This is usually friends or family.  We say they ar uspset when really it is ourself that is upset.  Have patience though because as soon as we begin to aknowledge that is is our story we can then recognized when smeone else is project in the same way as well.  We can the remind them that the story is theirs and not yours.  This way you will not get caught up in someone else's drama and prevent from getting others caught up in yours.  This then hls to reshape our attitude and and the attitude or those around us.  When you take ownership of your own story, you then can make adjustments to either continue or change the story that you have.  We then become rsponsible for the outcome of our daily lives.

What Do You Do When You Break Up With Your Partner

It seem couples are breaking up at an alaming rate.  There are severalthings to keep in mind when this happens.  First of all if it i a marriage it is important to think and believe in rebuilding and not divorce.  Remember that what you focus on will expand.  This is true of divorce.  If you constantly think of ending in divorce, the chances are that you will in fact end that way.  A key thing to remember is that a separation of any kind is a cry for some space to think and regroup.  Re evaluate the relationship and dedermine the reason you became a couple in the beginning.  Are you still doing those things?  If not then why?  It is very important to be real in the beginning but even more important to be real in your re evaluation.  Have patience that the best for both people involved will emerge.  Should our re evaluation result in the common desire to reunite, focus on rebuilding a better foundation than the first so when the wins of adversity hit, that foundation is less likely to crack.

Do You Know Who Your Friends Are?

Just recently someone I know was involved in a near head on auto collision.  Not only is an event like this traumatic, but you find out who your friends really are.  She was transported by ambulance to a hospital which means everything handled at the accident site was handle by someone else.  She needed a ride home and here is where she learned who were friends in her life.  One girl changed a doctor's appointment and with her baby came to pick her up at the hospital to take her home.  One girl met her at the house and took her to lunch, to try to retreive the personal belongings from the car and get a rental.  One spent time on the computer doing research since the driver responsible for the accident did not give proper insurance information. One has been in touch from California to keep spirits up and encourage when reality gets a little heavy.  Today, a friend's husband offered to help get another car since the other vehicle was totaled.  These people have lives of their own but have taken time out to lend a helping hand in whatever way they could.  These are truly the kind of friends that bless another in need.  Their generosity, loyalty and patience is something that we should hope shows in our life when someone we know and care about is in need.  Do you know who your friends are.  Don't let a situation like this happen before you find out who is an acquaintance and who is a friend.  Then show them your loyalty, generosity and friendship on a regular basis.  It is nice to know who your friends really are when the chips are down. 

A Visit From A Good Friend

This weekend I spent some wonderful time with a new and good friend.  She came in from California on Friday evening to attend a seminar.  Although we spent a day and a half we spent some quality time having some fun as well.  After a full day in the seminar we had dinner and then went out on the town to see an entertainer I know.  It had been some time since I shared time with someone who had a great attitude and zeal for life.  The following day we attended the morning session then went for a brunch before just hanging out at my home.  To finished the evening and weekend we joined another friend of ours for a barbeque then called it a night.  During that time I found that we communicated in many different and positive ways.  Her generosity humbled me and I found a new appreciation in the time she spent with me.  This person is Connie Regan Green and she inspires me to go beyond my limits to succeed.  Thanks Connie for a wonderful experience.

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

How many times have you gone through a day and gotten all frustrated with people who did not see your point of view?  It is amazing how our patience gets tested which effects the outcome of our day.  We over react and blow things out of proportion.  In all this turmoil we lose sight of the bigger picture. Things that could be a positive turn into a negative.  Pretty soon everything is a big deal.   A change of attitude can make a big difference when we realize that what is important to you may not be as important to someone else.  When you put this into perspective, it's amazing how quickly things become more managable and the stress level decreases.  Understanding that not everyone, everytime will see eye to eye, just stop jumping to conclusions and avoid taking things too personally.  Including other people's problems. Life is too short to Sweat the Small Stuff.