Friends and Beyond

Being Your Own Best Friend Is One Of The First Steps To Creating A Solid Relationship With Someone Else

So often, as individuals, we look for our worth and happiness in someone else to complete us.  Unfortunately, in others is not where we will find what we need to be happy and valuable.  It is within ourselves that these are found.  Being your own best friend first and trusting in your ability to be happy, and enjoy time with yourself is what creates a completeness that will carry over to another human being.

Being your own best friend takes more than just a sudden leap of faith to change your life.  It takes a conscious act, a decision to take your life into your own hands.  Change is not something that most people do easily.  It is so much easier to blame others for decisions that we choose not to make regarding our own lives. Struggles almost always come first and there is alot of plugging along that will happen. and miracles do happen to those who are ready.

People very often want to be perfect and become very discouraged when they are not.  Judging yourself by unreachable standards is a way of mistreating yourself.When people say they want to let go what they really need to do is to take hold. Often people are accustomed to waiting for someone else to give a kind or encouraging word.  However, we have so many of those for ourselves that we forget to say, hoping they will come from those around us.  We all get disappointed and neglect to realize that we had them inside all along. And who else should be kinder to you than YOU.

Are you Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

Online dating, as popular as it has turned out to be is not always the right place to search for the right special someone.  I will not say that there have not been some outstanding relationships that have developed as a result of online dating sites, but as a whole it is difficult to get any chemistry other than a woman or man is good looking and looks good on paper. So what does all this mean?

Good looking does not always mean the the individual has a personality that will suit yours.  And sometimes the individual may not be extra ordinarily great looking but the personality is outstanding, emotionally supportive and loving.  Yet you would have passed up an opportunity to meet this person because of their looks.  Only time can level the playing field when it comes to getting to know another person on a more personable level. 

Looking good on paper is another major mistake made by both men and women when it comes to dating and creating a lifetime relationship.  Yes it is important to know what your date or mate does for a living and what the financial issues may be.  But communication can bridge the gap in that foundational conversation and with it comes appreciation, integrity, loyalty, trust and a variety of other extremely important values.  The term married well does not always mean that someone found a loving, caring individual but sometimes is means the spouse has money, or a prestigeous job. Women who resort to this type of relationship disempower themselves and never find their own worth.  Money will never fill your heart only your pockets.  Do not judge a person on the size of a paycheck.  It your special person is warm, encouraging supportive and happens to be blessed financially...that is great! 

Relationships that endure lifetime ups and downs are those that are based on the principles of  love, communication and everything that comes with it will last a lifetime.  Isn't that the kind of relationship that you want?

 

There Is A Difference Between A Business Partner And A Friend, Sometimes The Twains Don't Meet

Most business partners that enter into a business agreement are not necessarily friends.  However there are some that will intermingle the idea that personal considerations are expected such as discounts, saved seats and other such favors which if not kept in check can become the statis quo.  Unfortunately this is in many situations, not the case. and offense is taken on a business level when one partner either is not able to do so or considers the request against his or her integrity. 

If you are faced with this situation from time to time or even just once, it is time to re-evaluate your partnership and what it stands for. And is this the type of person that you can trust your success and wealth to when the chips are down or will they backout and walk away when they do not get their way.  The partner that will challenge you on having their "back" is usually the one who does not have yours.  They will try to renig on financial obligations. They can not seem to seperate business from personal and their jugement becomes hampered.

Recently I ran into this situation and had to make a decision based on the integrity and character of the person that I was entering into a business agreement with. While she was attending a course that I was staffing she requested that I save a seat for her to allow her to come closer to start time.  Although I knew it is not necessarily appropriate, I filled the request and left it at that.  However on the second day, the same person asked if I had done such favor again in which I indicted that I had not.  On day three, I left a text message to let her know that I was unable to fill the request and suggested that she come a little earlier. That suggestion was given because I had noticed patterns in the short time I had worked with her to be late, have little regard for others as well as not paying her bills and strategically getting others to pay first for her to reimburse later which alot of times does not happen.  Keep in mind that there was no friendship established at this point either. Friendships are build on strong foundations to include trust and integrity.

That is when the crap hit the fan.  Accusations of not having her back and a partner finds a way to cover even if it is against the company standard that you are representing and your integity. With the intentional insult on her part, I immediately removed the website from the internet that I built and submitted an invoice for the completed work. The website would then be uploaded upon payment. Because I believe that what you do anytime is what you do everytime I was concerned if I continued to attempt working on this project... what else would cause such inappropriate and uncalled for accusations. 

Before entering into any business partnership or agreement with anyone, pay attention to their habits and patterns. Over time the best foot forward and hype will begin to diminish and the real person begins to emerge.  This is when you determine the integrity of the person and validity of the proposal they want to enter into with you.  Also, should you begin doing work with this potential partner make sure you have paid invoices before releasing any completed work.  This insures that you are covering your own back first before commiting to future dealings in anyone proposing a partnership.  In other words, make sure your ducks are in a row or they may wander off in an unexpect and unwanted direction.