Friends and Beyond

In Many Cases, Women Determine Their Own Worth By Their Current Relationship

Have you ever noticed that dogs and their owners begin to look like each other?  Well the same thing begins to happen to women who are in a relationship that is not working or not right for them.  They begin to determine their own worth by the circumstances arising for a defective or defaulted relationship.  This is not always with just men, it can be that of friends and coworkers as well.  But most of the time it is with the man they are spending their time with.

When you look at how a woman's life changes when a man enters the picture you will be amazed at how you, if you are female, tend to do the same thing.  A day does not go by that you want to eat, sleep and breathe the presence of you current gentleman friend.  Then wonder why they tend to want and need space a lot more than usual. 

Women tend to forget they have friends and family that used to be a part of their lives when they were truely single.  As a matter of fact it is healthy and highly recommended that a woman continue to spend an ample amount of time with her friends and loved ones.  This way the need to control or over commit to their new found love is kept under control.  Women are community creatures that need to chat consistantly whereas a male is more of a one man show.  When a women has a problem or situation, they need to talk about it until they satisfy themselves or find a solution.  A man on the other hand tends to want to find a corner of the world until they have found a reasonable solution to the situation or problem.

This is when you will hear..."What is wrong with me?" "What have I done?" "Why doesn't he want to spend time with me?"  Immediately their sense of worth diminishes and the downhill slide begins.  When a woman realizes that their worth has nothing to do with the solving of a problem or situation, they will find that they will experience a much happier and more successful relationship that is more likely to become fruitful as it grows. 

A woman worth is determined by who she is and what she contributes to the world around her.  Insecurity and self doubt do not have to be a part of that world.  When she realizes that her happiness comes from within, those around her can and will feel the warmth and see the luminesence that comes from a woman who deems herself worthy of all the goodness available to her.  It is then that she can truely give the gifts that she holds to those she cares about. 

Many Women Wait For Their Knight In Shining Armor Before They Consider Living Life

Many women are victims of what is called the White Knight Syndrome and do not even realize it.  do what is the White Knight Syndrome.  This is when a women is waiting for the right guy, the perfect mate to come along and not only sweep them off their feet but take care of them forever.  So they wait around and not go on trips they might want ot go on or experience other types of activities the might be shared with a man of their dreams.  Time then moves on, the White Knight does not come and she feels like she has lost out on a part of her life.  Unfortunately, women blame men for this occurrance when it is not the fault of the male population.

Instead, ladies, you must start placing value on yourselves and taking your life as important enough to create memories even if they are with friends or even by yourself.  After all you should enjoy being in your own company.  It is amazing that when you begin to live your life instead of holding off, the right people including the right man will amazingly come into your life to share those experiences with you.  Your life will be fuller and you will be much happier to have and take advantage of the opportunity to grow on a personal level. 

Life is too short to spend it wondering what might have been if you had only stepped out.  Go to a show, go to the park, take a small trip and spend time walking on the beach.  These moments that you are giving up could be some of the best moments of your life.  You will find that you feel good about yourself and in order for your White Knight to show up, you will attract him sooner when you consider yourself a Princess.  After all, is it not the White Knight that captures the heart of the Princess?  As much as we as women want a fairytale life, the reality is that we must contribute to the story as well.  And happines is something that comes from within.  No one can make you happy but they can contribute to making you happier. So enjoy life and watch what happens.

Acceptance In A Relationship Means That Your Man Is Good Enough

So many times when a couple gets comfortable with each other, there seems to be a tendency to start making demands for change.  This tends to happen with the ladies more so which gives a man a sense of inadequacy and even shame for somehow not measuring up to expectations.  When a woman expresses to her man that he change to meet her expectations, he will experience feelings of disapproval not a challenge to improve.

Much of this anticipation for acceptance and change come from the difference in the tming that men and women have when ready for committed relationships.  Women are generally ready for more solid commitments at about six months to a year whereas a man is not generally ready to make that stand for a year to two years.  During the growth period is when a couple become more aware of the person they are with.  Men do not generally require their woman to change however his partner on the other hand tends to place pressure on him to achieve her expectations.  He then tends to lose the confidence to make and keep her happy. 

So ladies, be careful of excessive demands.  Regardless of how much you tell him that you love him, if you are also telling him that he must change, he will not get the experience of warmth from you.  His instinct will be to go the other direction and he may eventually leave.  Always keep in mind too, that genuine change comes in small but significant steps. This is not to say that women should not wish to make improvements to a relationship.  The manner in which you convey that change is important to its success.  When a change is encouraged with acceptance and appreciation, it creates a positive experience and one that will be lasting.