So many times when a couple gets comfortable with each other, there seems to be a tendency to start making demands for change. This tends to happen with the ladies more so which gives a man a sense of inadequacy and even shame for somehow not measuring up to expectations. When a woman expresses to her man that he change to meet her expectations, he will experience feelings of disapproval not a challenge to improve.
Much of this anticipation for acceptance and change come from the difference in the tming that men and women have when ready for committed relationships. Women are generally ready for more solid commitments at about six months to a year whereas a man is not generally ready to make that stand for a year to two years. During the growth period is when a couple become more aware of the person they are with. Men do not generally require their woman to change however his partner on the other hand tends to place pressure on him to achieve her expectations. He then tends to lose the confidence to make and keep her happy.
So ladies, be careful of excessive demands. Regardless of how much you tell him that you love him, if you are also telling him that he must change, he will not get the experience of warmth from you. His instinct will be to go the other direction and he may eventually leave. Always keep in mind too, that genuine change comes in small but significant steps. This is not to say that women should not wish to make improvements to a relationship. The manner in which you convey that change is important to its success. When a change is encouraged with acceptance and appreciation, it creates a positive experience and one that will be lasting.
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