There is often a misconception as to whether we are helping each other to grow or maybe even hindering their growth. The question is a great one in the fact that mentors and coaches are becoming quite a popular avenue to take as the general public is moving to online exposure. So when you are choosing to be a mentor or seek a mentor, there is one unique principle to keep in mind. Are they/you a mirror or a magnifier? And what is the difference between the two?
A mirror is someone who allows a reflection of those that gaze upon it. It can show you things that may not be very becoming and need to be changed. It can also show the things that are good and growing and the beauty that so many times is not acknowledged. Either way, it is not a judgement one way or another just a picture to those that look, to see what others see.
A magnified is just what it is. It makes bigger that which it is looking at. Most of the time, someone who is a magnifier is pointing out that which is wrong with someone or what someone is doing for everyone to see. When they see that what they want is not being done, then critcism become the words of choice instead of praise and encouragement.
So whether you are a friend, a parent, in a relationship and especially if you are a coach or mentor, it is important to realized exactly what role you are playing. Many coaches and mentors get frustrated when a student is not following exactly the process being taught and can say and do things indirectly to discourage the very people they are teaching. They do not realize that they are not being a good example Then they wonder why a barrier begins to form. Are you coaching/mentoring to benefit the interests of the student to get them where they want to go or are you doing so to make complete your own interests. Are you being a mirror or a magnifier?
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