In relationships there is always a pull and push action going on. This usually results in a control struggle of some kind. You can not force someone to change their emotions or desires at the drop of a hat or the wave of a hand. Much less than when you demand so. Withholding rewards will not get you where you want to go in a relationship either. This will neither control or dictate the direction any reltionship is going. But many women especially, do this to try to get want they want from their men. Stop! It may work for a while for not for the long haul.
In order to have a successful relationship with a man it is imperative that you learn how to manage your relationship without tryping to control, demand, manipulate or otherwise dominate it. When you do these things you will lose sight of the needs and desires of the other person. Emotional blackmail is exactly what it is..Blackmail. Women can use this tactic on everyone, not just a man. Whether it is a relationship or a business these tactics force people to do what you want not because it fills their needs or rewards them in any way. Eventually they will discontinue doing what you want for lack of motivation and produce less desirable results.
When you try to control a relationship you produce conflict. This constant conflict can in the long run, destroy any relationship. This can surely destroy intimacy. And when there is intimacy in a relationship then you must let your man be who he is, which is a problem for some women. This is the same for a woman. In a truely intimate relationship you must be who you are which means there must be some kind of transparency.
In a nutshell, you can not relate adequately or efficiently relate when you are trying to control. When you are trying to manage your relationship you are continually trying to let go of control. Having control will not reduce any risky of being hurt, but you will grow and develop a relationship that is alive. Even the thought of it may seem scary, it can be done.
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